How to figure yourself out?

Often, we get asked, how do I become self-aware, how do I improve the quality of what I do, become more purposeful, and grow beyond what I am? At times we even get asked – how do I know who I truly am?

Ideally, we prefer to support people in their journey to professional and personal breakthroughs, via experiential learning and ongoing coaching. However, we are always happy to share some insights with everyone. So, in this article, we will take you through a process of answering some questions and to discover yourself through the answers. Here is how to go about it:

1. Sit with some time at your disposal. Do not hurry through your questions. This entire list might take you multiple sittings. That is also OK. However, do set a deadline for yourself, to ensure that it doesn’t become a 5-year plan.

2. First answer all the questions, whether in a single sitting, or multiple sittings. Answer the questions in sufficient detail, do not worry about how many sittings this might take, as long as you are aware of your hard deadline.

3. You might get carried away in a stream of thoughts. That is OK. However, to make sure that you drive value out of your time, do note these answers down. You can use a laptop, or a paper, or your phone notes, or any other tool, as long as it doesn’t distract you.

DO this exercise if you really want the benefits! Do not be tempted to write ideal answers. The more honest you are, the better this exercise will work for you. Do not also be tempted to just skim through this article and read the conclusion.

So, here is the list of questions for you:

1. What is the one thing that you want to be known for?

2. What are the 5 unfulfilled 'desires' that you have in life?

3. What do you think are some of your biases and judgments?

4. What are the 3 things that you most regret in your life?

5. Do you think you have accomplished what you deserve, according to your maximum potential?

6. How do you de-stress after a bad day at work?

7. How do you celebrate success?

8. How do you respond when a co-worker challenges you?

9. Have you ever had to change your behaviour, and behave differently from how you wanted to, either at work or home, if so, why did you have to change, and how did you change?

10. What do you think is one of your biggest setbacks? How did you come out of it?

11. What kind of behaviour makes you really angry/annoyed?

12. What drives you in your life?

13. What is that one skill that you wish you knew?

14. What time do you sleep at night, and wake up in the morning?

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning - look at your phone, sit up and drink water, hit the snooze button?

16. What worries you the most about your future?

17. What was the biggest personal sacrifice you made in your life?

18. What small act of kindness was I once shown that I will never forget?

19. If there was something you were trying to fail at, and instead you ended up succeeding, would you be able to live with it? Has it ever happened?

20. Describe yourself in only 5 words.

Now, that you have answered all the questions, read the following insights, think about your answers (refer to your notes) and re-examine your answers in the light of these insights, and attempt to answer these questions again.

Perspective-shifting Insights:

• After you have answered your questions, look at the following insights and re-answer the questions you have answered:

• When Did you first start saying and insisting that these answers were true?

• How long have you been going through experiences that prove to you that your answers are correct?

• Is there any other lens that you can look at your life from?

• If you looked at your life from a different lens, would you answer to these questions change?

• Are there any answers in this list that you wish, were different?

Once you are done with answering the questions again, compare them. What do you see? Do you see that your answers are conflicting, confusing, unsettling perhaps? Do the answers change at all? Are you able to create a paradigm shift for yourself? If not, why? If yes, how does it make you feel?

Do you have a ground-breaking insight, or do you now feel unsure of who you are? Do share with us how you feel if you wish. We’d love to hear from you!