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  • Chetan Walia

THE F WORD NEEDED IN INDIA TODAY

Basically people yearn for happiness, joy, and love - mostly to no avail.


The modern day competitive environments ensure that we live with MORE stress and LESS enjoyment than ever in history. Why?



Having coached and trained people for last two decades, I can can tell you this - People have patterns of perception. That is we label our own experiences and occurrence of life events, then we do the same for others around us - in the process of this comparison, we feel frustrated and constricted with life.


A classic example of this labelling and subsequent generation of anger, frustration and even violence is so visible in our elections today. One look at a news channel is enough to be depressed.


The number one pattern the degenerates life is our expectations. We may have health, wealth and a beautiful family, but it’s future expectations that completely destroys life.


That’s it; that’s the catch. Expectations.


Personal ambitions and expectations, comes with built in fear of not reaching there - and then starts a labelling process to get ahead, to justify, to impress upon - and that has no limits then to stoop levels of dignity - again so visible in the election season !


EXPECTATIONS, STRESS AND PAIN


If you really want to be stressed, all you have to do is expect life and all the people in it, to think, behave, speak, and act the way you have predetermined they ”should.”

Then just hang on to your expectations, I can guarantee you plenty of stress and pain. We can see an entire country divided today, based on their ‘values’ that they want others to live by. Sad.

That’s the reason why even the most kind and loving person you know can – in just a moment – today be insensitive and unconscious of their reactions.

A LIFE WORTH LIVING

Can you trade expectations for appreciation? And the whole world transforms instantly.

That’s it. When YOU appreciate whatever life or people bring to you, you are choosing to invite the joy that young children have - before we spoil them with giant birthday parties that is.

Anger, frustration, rage, hurt, depression, and sadness dissolves by being loving, generous, courteous, compassionate, proactive, present, supportive, caring, etc.

THE TWO F-WORDS THAT INDIA NEEDS - FORGIVENESS & FAITH

Mandela said, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

Forgiveness is really an understanding that the only person you hurt when you’re upset (no matter how justified it may be) is yourself.

Nelson Mandela understood fundamentally that forgiveness is not a gift we give others, it is a gift we give ourselves.

Radical forgiveness and faith leads to a discovery of higher purpose.

We all think our problems are huge. To be truly free and happy in this life, we must give up our expectations. Our biggest problem may very well be the belief that we are not supposed to have problems!

It’s the people who give up the story of what happened to them that find a higher meaning, and are the ones who lead, grow, give, and experience life’s fulfillment.

HOW TO REALLY FORGIVE

It all goes back to trading in those useless expectations. Do you notice that we are incapable of being angry and grateful simultaneously. It can’t happen. And as we can see most people are not good at forgiveness but they’re good at blame. It’s all around us today.

Can you the person rise above the terrible example set by our leaders and ‘appreciate’ instead of ‘blame’. Otherwise we may as well have another F word to describe our state.

Remember this: What’s wrong shall always be available; so shall be what’s right. Growth, joy, insights, meaning, happiness, freedom, and love are just a little faith and forgiveness away.

Chetan